Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can Moonwalk on the Sun.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.