Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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