The best kids jokes

When I was born, everyone was so happy. Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, money
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
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has 37.14 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: kids
TEACHER: Why would you paint something black? STUDENT: So it runs faster.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids
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