The best kids jokes

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: hospital, kids
‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’ ‘Of course. What else could it be?’
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
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has 37.51 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, money
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
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has 37.14 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids
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