The best kids jokes

He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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TEACHER: Why would you paint something black? STUDENT: So it runs faster.
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A: How do children in Baghdad do? A: Bombastically.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, kids, life, war
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 34.65 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
Vote: has 34.13 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred. She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock. After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder. So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
Vote: has 33.74 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, sex
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 33.50 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids


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