"Johny, what is the difference between being sober and being drunken?"
Johny: "When I was drunk I didn't need to buy a ticket to the carousel."
"Ok, and when you were sober and wanted to go to the carousel what has happened then?"
"The carousel man needed to center the whole carousel, of course.
The left half of the carousel was for me and the right one for all the small children."
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car.
When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'".
Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Q: What kind of kids do you get when a black and a Mexican marry.
A: Kids too lazy to steal.
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Where does a boat go when it is sick?
The dock.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Q: What's red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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