The best kids jokes

He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
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Q:How does a bear start a race? A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
Vote: has 28.62 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
Vote: has 26.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, kids