Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.
When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
He’s been hitting the bottle for years.
He’ll be two tomorrow.
Q: What kind of kids do you get when a black and a Mexican marry.
A: Kids too lazy to steal.
Vote:
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car.
When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'".
Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’
‘Of course.
What else could it be?’
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Vote:
Where does a boat go when it is sick?
The dock.