A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Vote:
Q: What's red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
Why do bears have fur coats?
(Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A: He called a toe truck.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
Vote:
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car.
When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'".
Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
(A panda bear rolling down a hill!)