Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
Q: What kind of kids do you get when a black and a Mexican marry. A: Kids too lazy to steal.
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’ ‘Of course. What else could it be?’
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast... Get it, kids grow up so fast.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.