When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!!
Drew: Yes, it's really strange.
I've got another pair just like that at home.
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin?
It was OK.
It was a safety pin.
Q: In which room we cannot live?
A: Mushroom.
What do you give a cat for its birthday?
A catologue.
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency.
To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office:
Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000.
With all these, you never made a donation to the charity...
If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds?
No... answers mayor.
In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind.
The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted:
And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans.
Stunned, the mayor says:
I didn’t know, please accept my apologies...
But the lawyer continues:
I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Our baby looks just like me.
But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
Kids dream about having superpowers.
Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
Vote:
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”