Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin? It was OK. It was a safety pin.
What do you give a cat for its birthday? A catologue.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.
Our baby looks just like me. But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to a garage sale to buy a garage
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar? A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?"
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."