Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A: He called a toe truck.
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers.
When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing.
"Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?"
"I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
Vote:
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car.
When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'".
Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?
A: Booger King!!!
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
(A bear-faced lyre!)
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote:
Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!