The best kids jokes

Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator.
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has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: kids
He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 29.23 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, kids
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: kids
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street. Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!" (splash) "WHERE?" (splash)
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: kids
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
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