The best kids jokes

Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 29.23 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, kids
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: kids
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street. Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!" (splash) "WHERE?" (splash)
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator.
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has 27.88 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: kids
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
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has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
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