The best lawyer jokes

The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?" The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
How can you know a lawyer is lying? When he moves his lips.
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has 64.33 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: baby, family, holiday, lawyer, marriage
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.76 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!” The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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