The best jokes about life

A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a piece of cork up his ass. "Why do you have a cork up your ass?" "Well, it's a long story. But one day I was walking on the beach and I tripped over a bottle and woke up a genie who said he would grant me one wish. I said, 'No s**t!"
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: genie, life
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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has 75.17 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
A couple was touring the capitol in Washington, DC, and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman as the congressional chaplain. The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?" The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at both houses of Congress, then prays for the country!"
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: couple, life, travel
What is height of Secrecy? Offering blank visiting cards.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife? A: Meet Patty.
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently." "Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, life
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Englishman, Scottish man and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day. They meet up at end of day and Englishman has sold 2, Scottish man had sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says hhhee hhhee hhhad sssold ssssixty. The other two asked how did he do it. He said, "Wwwhen Iiiii nnnnnnknock aaaat thththe ddddooor I said: Do you wwwwwant tto bbbuy a bbbbbible ooooorrr shshshould Iiii jjjust rrrread it tttto yyyyou?"
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: bible, life
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
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