The best jokes about life

First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
Vote:
has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, life
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
Vote:
has 74.29 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: life
By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
Vote:
has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dad, death, Fathers day, life
Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
Vote:
has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
I couldn't understand why it hurts a lot when you bite your tongue accidentally, but it doesn't hurt when you bite it intentionally, and what I couldn't understand most is why you're biting your tongue right now?!
Vote:
has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life
A senior Catholic Priest in Kenya was dying in a hospital and for his death wish he asked to see the local MP and the county Governor. Within hours, the two arrived. He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands and kept quiet. The politicians were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a senior and well respected priest in his dying moment. Out of anxiety, the Governor asked, 'But why did ask for me and Mheshimiwa?' The priest gathered all his strength and held their hands even tighter. Then with his eyes still closed, he mumbled 'Jesus died between two thieves. My only wish is to die the same way.' Minutes later as the silence enveloped the hospital room, the priest took his last breath.
Vote:
has 74.18 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: catholic, god, hospital, life, priest
What do you call a Labrador that becomes a magician? A Labracadabrador!
Vote:
has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: life
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Vote:
has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
Justin Bieber puked on stage. That settles it, she's pregnant.
Vote:
has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!
Vote:
has 73.98 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: life, mexican, work
<<<26272829
More jokes →
Page 26 of 82.