The best jokes about life

How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, life
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Jesus walks into a hotel, rings the bell, and waits for the receptionist to come out. He looks her dead in the eye, slams three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, life
The Dove Bar's like an 80-pound wad of chocolate on a toothpick. If you're not careful when you take it out of the package, you'll snap your wrists.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, life
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
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More jokes about: food, life
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, marriage, old people, time
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo? A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, mexican


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