A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.
"I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor.
I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long.
Is there anything you can give me?"
"Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative.
Please take off your clothes."
The man strips down.
The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head.
"But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!"
"True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
Vote:
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
How do you caculate the population of Russia?
You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth.
I lie about my age.’
Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
Vote:
I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P.
Now he down with No P.P.
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth.
The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared.
The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared.
The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames.
Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
Vote:
Joke has 39.46 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, chocolate, life, mexican
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse...
And his favorite drink is punch...
Vote:
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him:
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you drink?
- No.
- Do you eat fast food?
- No.
- Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...