The best jokes about life

Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life
The fastest dialog in the world: (WC door is opening) Man inside: Heyyy! Man outside: Sorryyy!
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Vote: has 43.72 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, life
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
Vote: has 42.06 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, life
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo? A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, mexican
How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, life
Jesus walks into a hotel, rings the bell, and waits for the receptionist to come out. He looks her dead in the eye, slams three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, life


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