The best jokes about life

How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P. Now he down with No P.P.
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, Chuck Norris, life
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, life
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
has 39.12 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, chocolate, life, mexican
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
has 38.90 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, life
Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
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