The best love jokes

Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 308 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, phone, women
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery."
Vote: has 78.51 % from 682 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, husband, love, sex
My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
Vote: has 77.74 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
Yo mama is so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Vote: has 77.56 % from 510 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, love, Yo mama
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Vote: has 77.42 % from 117 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
Vote: has 77.37 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, mean, relationship, romantic, Valentines day
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Vote: has 77.37 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, friendship, love, single
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" "Yes, they do my love!" "Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" "Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..."
Vote: has 76.68 % from 93 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids, love


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