The best love jokes

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Vote:
has 78.75 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: beauty, friendship, love, single
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery."
Vote:
has 78.66 % from 712 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, love, sex
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Vote:
has 77.74 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
Son: "Mom, I love you so much!" Mother: "I don't have any money, try it with your dad."
Vote:
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: family, love, money
A man gets shipwrecked on a small island. After a few days wandering, he comes across a tribe of natives who have just lost their chieftan. The tribe's high priest tells the man that as he is the first outsider they have seen in twenty years, he must take three tests. If he passes al three tests, the tribe will accept him as their new chief. "Fair enough," says the man. "Just let me know what the tests are and I'll get right on them." The piest takes him to a clearing with three straw huts in it, turns to the man and explains the tests. "In the first hut, you'll find 20 gallons of our native beer. You must drink all of this to complete this test. In the second hut is a gorilla with a sore tooth. You must pull his tooth and survive to pass this test. In the third hut is the ex-chieftan's daughter. You must make love to her until she can take nomore." The man agrees to the tests and begns the first test. Three hours later, he walks out of the hut and goes toward the second hut. The priest asks if he would like to have a rest, but the man says he wants to get all the tests done before he sleeps. He goes into th second hut. After two hours he comes out covered from head to toe in blood and sctratches. He turns to the priest and says "Now lead me to the girl with the sore tooth."
Vote:
has 76.64 % from 1015 votes. More jokes about: beer, desert island, love, priest, sex
Yo mama is so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Vote:
has 76.62 % from 544 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, love, Yo mama
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
Vote:
has 76.46 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship, romantic, Valentines day
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Vote:
has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, love
When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband's named Love. He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him. The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive. After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. It had my name and said: "Wants Love in afternoon."
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, love, technology
My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: love, money, wife
<<<4567
More jokes →
Page 4 of 16.