The best marriage jokes

A husband and wife are driving along when they see an injured skunk lying by the roadside. They decide to take it to a vet but don’t have anything to carry it in. ‘Why not wrap it in your skirt?’ suggests the husband. ‘What about the stink?’ protests his wife. Her husband replies, ‘It’ll just have to get used to it.’
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage
This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married. They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible. The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy." She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
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has 51.37 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: marriage, school
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
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has 51.18 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!" "I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there." The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is." "Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!" "Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, money, sex, wife
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