The best marriage jokes

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I’ve got a confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I’m afraid I also was theone who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..." "That’s all right dearest; don’t even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I’m the one who poisoned you."
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More jokes about: death, hospital, marriage, money, wife
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
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More jokes about: love, marriage, wife
Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’ Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
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What kind of rings do men need for marriage? Engagement Ring Wedding Ring Suffe-Ring Endu-Ring
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"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."
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Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
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Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex