Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person’s got, you wish you’d ordered that.
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage?
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before.
Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
About 40 lb.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.