The best marriage jokes

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person’s got, you wish you’d ordered that.
Vote: has 31.06 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before. Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
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What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb.
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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