The best marriage jokes

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, marriage, wife
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before. Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
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What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb.
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage