Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
Stupid?
He wanted to be a farmer.
So he studied pharmacy.
Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.
"I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor.
I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?"
"Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative.
Please take off your clothes."
The man strips down.
The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head.
"But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!"
"True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."