The best jokes about men

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
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A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
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What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
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This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men