What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?