What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving!
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.