The best jokes about men

Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, time
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
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