Bigamy is having one husband too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him. I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.
Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
Why does a man like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.