A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him. I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."