What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention.
It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk.
"What do you call it?"
"A fottle, replies the inventor."
"A fottle?
That's a stupid!
Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it.
I've got something else though.
It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude.
You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Men are like buses.
One comes every 15 minutes.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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