Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.