The best money jokes

They say about money that you can’t take it with you. I can’t even afford to go.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
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has 40.93 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military, money
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, money
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
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has 40.51 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, money, racist
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby. He used to scream and cry like hell.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
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