The best money jokes

Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!
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has 40.65 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: money
Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby. He used to scream and cry like hell.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!
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has 39.55 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, money, racist
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: college, dad, money
Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank!
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, wife
An Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company. The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check. "That's humiliation," shouts the Iraqi, "why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back. I want my money NOW!" The Saudi refuse to pay him and the Iraqi keeps shouting in the bank then the American high manager comes with a 5kg hammer and knocks the Iraqi on the head. After 5 minutes the Iraqi wakes up, signs the back of the check and gets his money. The Saudi clerk goes to the Iraqi and asks, "Tell me why you didn't sign the check the first time but signed it later on?" The Iraqi said, "You missed the point, you just told it to me, but the American explained it."
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
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