The best money jokes

Our house was so small if we got a large pizza we had to go outside to eat it.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
He was so mean he used to give his children £1 each instead of an evening meal, then charged them £2 for breakfast.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
They say about money that you can’t take it with you. I can’t even afford to go.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Vote:
has 40.93 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military, money
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Vote:
has 40.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, money, racist
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Vote:
has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote:
has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
Vote:
has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: beauty, money, ugly
<<<69707172
More jokes →
Page 69 of 85.