The best money jokes

A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, drunk, money
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Vote:
has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
Patient: "Doctor, I have to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind. Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?" Doctor: "You see, I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc."
Vote:
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote:
has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Vote:
has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the Lottery.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
<<<68697071
More jokes →
Page 68 of 85.