The best money jokes

‘I used to live in a sub-basement. The janitor that had the apartment during the Depression had some stocks. When the market crashed, he was wiped out. He tried to kill himself by jumping out of the window and up on to street level.’ Woody Allen
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car. The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out. The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing. After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
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has 17.40 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money, tax
Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose your money.
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
The best things in life are free, plus tax.
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
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has 16.13 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: money
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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has 15.98 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
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