Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
Chuck Norris can watch music.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.