Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Chuck Norris can watch music.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
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What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.