Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
The Perfect Man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes.
Sing.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"
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Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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What did the black epileptic have written on his t-shirt?
"Help I'm not break dancing"
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Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
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One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio.
They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church.
The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.''
So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart.
The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis.
The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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