A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.