A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
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