Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London. Then they wrote a song about it.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.