The Perfect Man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes.
Sing.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"
Vote:
What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..
Vote:
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris.
It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
Vote:
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Vote:
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them!