I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds? A: Because there are twenty of them!
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
Yo mamma is stupid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church. The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.'' So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart. The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis. The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.