New jokes

Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked, spread-eagle on her bed. He thought, "Hmm... I could fly through that open window and be in and out before she even knew what hit her!" With nothing more than a rustle of the curtains, Superman was on his way, thinking, "Wow! She is really tight!" Back in her bedroom, Wonder Woman sat up asking, "What in Amazonia was that?!" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts!"

Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.

I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant. I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean. I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience. I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it. I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.

At a parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..." Officer: Yes? Inmate: I think I have.. Officer: Go on. Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence? Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.

I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.

Shop assistant: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn't even try it on? Psychic: I'm a medium.

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!"

A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, "Sorry ma'am, I forgot what room I'm in, can you help me?" The receptionist replies, "No problem, sir. This is the lobby."