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In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb. So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing. Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo." The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket. I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off." The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third. We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen. Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn't care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers. Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it's important.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, cop, mean, old people, vulgar
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, food, geography, old people, travel
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
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More jokes about: communication, cop, driving
Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. "What denomination?" asks the postal clerk. Mary thinks a second before replying, "Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, stupid
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads? A: They want to measure their intelligence.
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
Vote: has 85.53 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, customer service, sex, travel



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