In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class. Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate. After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Q: What's the scariest thing about a white man in prison? A: You know that he actually did it.
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.