An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week.
Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant.
"Thank heaven I’ve met someone," he cried. "I’ve been lost for the last week."
"Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman.
"No," said the American.
"Then I’m afraid you’re still lost," was the reply.
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby?
It's annoying when it comes out black.
Vote:
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.
He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about.
"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father."
"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."
"Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many."
The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards."
The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"
The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroid's.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
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What do you call a bunch of mexicans getting stoned?
Baked beans.
What do u call 4 mexicans sinking in quicksand?
Quatro,sinko.