What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Damn, I burnt one."
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three english words in a sentence.
The three words are 'green,' 'pink,' and 'yellow.'"
The Mexican man thinks , then says, "Hmmm, okay.
The phone, it went green, green, green.
I pink it up and sez yellow?"
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
What do you call a mexican having a shower?
A miracle.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans getting stoned?
Baked beans.
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
Vote:
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office.
Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out:
"Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children."
"Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den I uses the last names."
How many white cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None. He fell.
How do you tell when time is reversing?
When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.