There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? "Is it worth any bonus marks?"
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah’s ark. On the way home, Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?” “How could he?” said Billy. “He only had two worms”. The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!” The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
One day, a teacher walks into her classroom to start the lesson. She walks up to the board and sees in little writing the word "penis". She thinks nothing of it and wipes it off. The next day, she comes in and sees the word "penis", only this time it"s a little bit bigger. She wipes it off again. Sure enough, the next day she comes in and sees "penis" on the board a little bigger. This proceeds until the end of the year when finally, it"s across the whole board. The teacher wonders what"s gonna happen the next day since it"s taking up all the space on the board. When she came in the next day but doesent find "penis". This time she finds written, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets".
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?