The best school jokes

Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah’s ark. On the way home, Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?” “How could he?” said Billy. “He only had two worms”. The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!” The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
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has 55.49 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: school
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
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has 55.44 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: history, math, religious, school
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Ramu: "The moon". Teacher: "Why?" Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, college, school
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Leonard: Why? Jacob: She had bright students!
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has 55.12 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: school
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? "Is it worth any bonus marks?"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: school
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way. A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom. So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats. The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?" Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, school, teacher
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