Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Yo' Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.
Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.