Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.