Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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