Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.