Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything."
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.
After hesitating, they all did it.
"Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."