A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
A. Goes-in-tight!
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business.
One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."
The other hooker looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?