The best sex jokes

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote:
has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Vote:
has 62.77 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Vote:
has 62.74 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Vote:
has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Vote:
has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote:
has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar. He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey. How about you and me getting it on? I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’ The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
Vote:
has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Vote:
has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, viagra
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
Vote:
has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
Vote:
has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
<<<49505152
More jokes →
Page 49 of 87.