What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
Woman to doctor: ‘Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.’ Doctor: ‘And what are you taking for it?’ Woman: ‘Pepper.’
What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.