A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?"
The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."
"TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower.
How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote:
Woman to doctor: ‘Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.’
Doctor: ‘And what are you taking for it?’ Woman: ‘Pepper.’
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Vote:
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex?
Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
I lost my virginity.
Can I have yours?
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"