Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
A. Fucks Funny!
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business.
One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."
The other hooker looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."