A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline. A week after the marriage all their windows fell out. Which was the least of their worries.
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!