The best sex jokes

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Vote: has 51.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline. A week after the marriage all their windows fell out. Which was the least of their worries.
Vote: has 51.37 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, sex, Yo mama
Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
Vote: has 51.28 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Vote: has 51.25 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Vote: has 51.18 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Vote: has 51.00 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
Vote: has 50.88 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex