Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
Knock, Knock Who is there? A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet. What do you want? Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.