The best sex jokes

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Vote: has 52.05 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Vote: has 52.05 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Vote: has 51.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
Vote: has 51.78 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, sex
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
Vote: has 51.55 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 51.47 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Vote: has 51.45 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex