The best sex jokes

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
Vote: has 62.76 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
Vote: has 62.75 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote: has 62.46 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Vote: has 62.43 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex, women
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote: has 62.37 % from 92 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, racist, sex
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Vote: has 62.37 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, school, sex


<<<50515253
More jokes →
Page 50 of 82.