The best sex jokes

Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, political, republican, sex
Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.
Vote: has 55.88 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
Vote: has 55.78 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
Vote: has 55.49 % from 707 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, sex, women
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Vote: has 55.40 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said. The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
Vote: has 55.40 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, sex
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex