The best sex jokes

This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote: has 62.85 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
Vote: has 62.75 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, food, marriage, sex, wife
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
Vote: has 62.61 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, doctor, sex
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
Vote: has 62.50 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex


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