The best sex jokes

Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
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has 57.70 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.
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has 57.69 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: sex
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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has 57.66 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
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has 57.60 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
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has 57.54 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: sex
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
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has 57.53 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, marriage, sex
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
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has 57.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
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has 57.38 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, sex
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