The best sex jokes

In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing? I’m exhausted because of sex. That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
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has 57.38 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, sex
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 57.30 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.
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has 57.23 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: sex
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: sex
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
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