Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
Do you work at a cattery? Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.