The best sex jokes

What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
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More jokes about: sex
Three prisoners are locked in a cell. One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’ The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’ The third man pulls out a packet of tampons. ‘Those aren’t much use,’ says the first prisoner. ‘Yes they are,’ says the third prisoner. ‘On the packet it says we can use them to swim, play tennis and ski.’
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Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
A Lalu originally from Bihar now in USA went to India and brought a physiologically checked out virgin from a small happy town as wife. Ideal Lalu decided to have first night in USA. He prepared her, took their all clothes off and was ready to penetrate for intercourse and young bride stopped him. "What are you trying to do," she asked. Lalu explained the spousal sex. The bride said, "In that case try my back hole it will be lots of fun for you."
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Vote: has 39.66 % from 182 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
Harry is better at sex than anyone he know. Now all he needs is a partner.
Vote: has 39.62 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, stupid, work, Yo mama
A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
Vote: has 39.24 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, sex, work