The best sex jokes

The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
has 56.73 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, sex
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
has 56.57 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
has 56.55 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
has 56.45 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: flirt, geek, math, sex
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
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