Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men?
You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis.
He says to the doctor "My penis is too small."
Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch."
So the man thanks the doctor and leaves.
He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch.
Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy.
A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker.
"Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed?
Her toes curl up when you screw her.