Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke. Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here." Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here." Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.