Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.