Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DAMMIT open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
Vote:
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men?
You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
Vote:
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed?
Her toes curl up when you screw her.