Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.