Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself?
He’s smoking a cigarette.
Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’
Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’
Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue.
Forget it.’
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful.
As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years."
Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis.
He says to the doctor "My penis is too small."
Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch."
So the man thanks the doctor and leaves.
He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch.
Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy.
A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker.
"Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!"
Johny: "I have no idea."
Vote:
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.