Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms.
The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’
‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims.
‘I thought you rolled them on!’
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
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My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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