Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.