The best sex jokes

What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
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has 37.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun. Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?" The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry. When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man. you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?" "well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray. If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too" The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun. The hippie pops out and says "I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!" The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral" So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
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has 36.25 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, time
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.
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has 35.52 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex
Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
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has 35.50 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sex
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn. Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
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has 34.70 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: god, sex, time
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club. Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’ Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’ ‘Good heavens,’ says Harry. ‘That’s a very long time ago.’ ‘Not reall
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has 34.65 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
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has 34.57 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: food, sex
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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has 34.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: sex
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