Three prisoners are locked in a cell. One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’ The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’ The third man pulls out a packet of tampons. ‘Those aren’t much use,’ says the first prisoner. ‘Yes they are,’ says the third prisoner. ‘On the packet it says we can use them to swim, play tennis and ski.’
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.