I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own. "No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened." After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3. "What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!" Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans? A: Squash.