Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot.
Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help.
Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help.
Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned.
Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned.
Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help.
Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening.
Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned.
Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim.
He also did not know what his goal was.
Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
Vote:
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Vote:
Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit?
One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."
"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."
"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."
"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."
"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."
"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."
"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."
"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."
"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."
"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise!