England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Two guys are out hunting deer... The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky." "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!" "Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice. A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" This time pointing behind them. By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game? A:They stay in front of some fans!
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"