"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team.
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place? Well, it could have been worse. How? There could have been more teams in the league!
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech? A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.