Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often?
They always hit and run.
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute.
May I please play through?"
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through."
He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!"
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold.
When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat.
Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears.
After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him.
Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing.
"Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom.
"Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry.
Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote:
Why are football stadiums always cool?
"Because they're full of fans."
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
Vote:
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game?
A:They stay in front of some fans!