My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often? They always hit and run.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball team.
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
I think that it is better to give that to get. You have a very generous thinking. Are you a humanitarian? No, I’m a boxer.
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.