Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball team.
"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy." Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
I think that it is better to give that to get. You have a very generous thinking. Are you a humanitarian? No, I’m a boxer.
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.