Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home.
When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.”
So the next day the man took her to a baseball game.
The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked.
The man said, “Are you understanding this game?”
The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it.
Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing.
And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.”
Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four balls.”
The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately.
‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man.
‘Watch them!’ says his wife.
‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often?
They always hit and run.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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