One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work.
He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa.
So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind.
After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head.
His wife yells, ''What was that for!?''
To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit?
One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it.
Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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