A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England." "Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago."
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?" "I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Q: What do you call two Asians playing basketball? A: Ping-Pong
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"