Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
Vote:
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Vote:
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Vote:
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"
James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Manchester United.
They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together.
One half-time Neil went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for A16.
The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty.
Then on Boxing day, much to James and Neil's amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season.
Neil could not resist asking the newcomer, 'Where have you been all season'.
'Don't ask' he said, 'the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.'