The best sport jokes

A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
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"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy." Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."
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Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
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Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
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Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
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Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
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Don’t marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. Cricket
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Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
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What can you serve that you cannot eat? A tennis ball.
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A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
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