There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
What can you serve that you cannot eat? A tennis ball.
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after 3 periods.
A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.
Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me." Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?" Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."
All the bases are 90 feet apart in regulation Baseball. So why does it take a Runner longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it does from 1st to 2nd? Simple! Because between 2nd and 3rd there is a 'Short-Stop'!
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."