Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
What can you serve that you cannot eat? A tennis ball.
Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often? They always hit and run.