The best war jokes

Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, political, war, winter, work
Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss? A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, management, war
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
has 54.95 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time, war
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, war
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
has 52.04 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
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