Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."